I met Herb when I was four years old. His mother was my paternal aunt and we grew to be as close as brothers. I first encountered him upon visiting his house as he did not live in my community. He was the youngest of four siblings, which included two older brothers and one older sister. We were a match made for mischief.
My earliest memories of my friendship with Herb started when he lived in what we referred to as the Pink House. The exterior of the home was actually pink. Two of my older female cousins along with myself would visit occasionally throughout the year. That’s when our friendship began.
We really acknowledged our kinship when Herb’s family moved from the Pink House to the new house which became the Brown House. I was an unpolished city boy whose life was shaped by an urban upbringing. Herb was a rough around the edges country boy whose lifestyle was shaped by a suburban upbringing. Perfect!!!
All of the older cousins were recruited to help my aunt and uncle move to the new house. Myself, the younger cousin, was allowed to tag along. Upon arriving at the new house Herb and myself spent our time running around on the new front deck and out in the expansive of backyard. This was a fortelling of what was to come.
Herb and I started alternating summers at each other’s homes. My uncle had a farm which included horses, cattle, pigs and chickens. He had a barn that contained a bunch of cool motorcycles. He owned the guns and equipment that allowed him to make his own ammunition. Herb and I would go crabbing, fishing, camping, all outdoor activities that I had not experienced up to this point of my life. Herb raced motorcycles and my uncle would allow me to go along to the track to serve as the “assistant mechanic”. They taught me how to ride motorcycles. My aunt and uncle worked irregular schedules which allowed herb and I to have a lot of time at home by ourselves. There were other friends around, but not like in my community……
Herb spent summers at my house, which included me and my two younger siblings. As a matter of fact Herb, Pete and myself became like the three amigos. See one of us you see all of us. The good times and troubles grew exponentially. I lived in a community of town homes. No fishing, no crabbing, no camping, but lots of people. Mainly, lots of girls. And Herb noticed. His community was somewhat isolated. He lived in a single family home surrounded by a few acres of land. His friends lived about a quarter of a mile away. In my community, all of my friends were literally right next door. The girls were all around across the street, up the street, down the street, next door, everywhere. He could barely contain himself. I didn’t blame him. We indulged ourselves accordingly……having more fun than should be allowed as teenagers.
I learned a lot of valuable lessons from Herb, some directly some indirectly. Herb was the first I saw who owned an electric guitar and an amplifier. I bought an electric base because we were supposed to start a band. After about a year, Herb turned his interest elsewhere (girls) and gave me the guitar and amp. He made playing music tangible for me. Somewhere in our mid teens, he gave me one of the most important lessons in my life. He said this: Don’t worry about stuff. If you can’t change it, it’s gonna happen anyway. If you can change it, then change it. I never forgot those words. I’ve had to apply it many times over the course of my life. Another thing herb taught me was toughness. He had to fight for his position in the family as he grew up with some tough older siblings. Even though he was privileged he had to grow up fast. I also learned that having a privileged life doesn’t mean that your life is complete.
There’s so much more. I could add to this story, but I’ll end by saying this. I am eternally grateful for the times that we get to spend together.
The Real Life Corner 