Author: real.life

“The Golden Years”

When a person dies, those of us left behind struggle to use words and phrases that make the loss easier to manage.  We may say things like “passed away, deceased, gone home to Glory, gone to a better place, God called him home”.  These descriptive and appropriate words may ease the pain, but the fact remains that we’ve lost a cherished person in our lives. 

I lost a cherished childhood friend recently.  Out of respect for his family I will refer to him as “Cov”, which was the nickname given to him by his boyhood buddies, myself included.  He referred to me as “Hamilton”, a play on my boyhood nickname of “Ham” (don’t ask…if you only knew how I got this name…).  Cov grew up with the rest of our peers in Bywater (you know!) in the “Golden Years”.  This is the era between 1972 and 1990.  This is when the community was establishing its identity.  Specifically from 1976 to 1985.These years split three distinct times: OGs (1972-1980), Bywater Crew (1978-1985) and Bywater Hustlers (1986-1995)

Cov was part of the Bywater Crew,  the teens who were in high school between ’80 and ’85. These were my peers and let me tell you (because you just don’t know!), these were some of the coolest, baddest, nicest, purest, got-your-back, ride or die brothers you EVER gonna find in any fuckin’ neighborhood.  Real talk!  We were mentored by the OGs. Out of respect for their privacy I won’t name them, but man I want to. They protected us, taught us, supported us and showed us tough love.  Many of us were raised by single moms and needed ANY male guidance we could get.  We got good ones. Boy the stories I could tell! 

Cov learned his lessons well. He was the first of the crew with a license and a car.  Need a ride to the party down Crow’s Nest?  Cov got EVERYBODY. Ride in town? Cov got EVERYBODY. Ride down Robinwood?  Cov got EVERYBODY.  Ride out Parole? Yep, Cov got you!  Cov was the first with Atari. We all came to play.  You the party type? Cov could get it started.  Good hearted brother for sure.  To be honest we knew how to find mischief when necessary too…one year I got a video camera and movie projector for my birthday.  Any fellas or ladies remember the “movie nights” at my house..? I’m not talking

Cov and I lost touch in the mid eighties.  I hadn’t seen him in about 30 years when one day out of nowhere I ran into him in a local store.  We walked right past each other and paused at about the same time.  We turned to each other, said our “what’s ups” and began to talk. Convo went straight to Bywater, the Golden Years…..

Fitting.  Cov was living in his Golden Years when God called him home. I heard that his health had been failing recently. I cannot speak to who he became in his later years because we hadn’t talked. But I KNOW where he came from.  I KNOW where he started.  I KNOW he was one of the good ones in “The Bywater Crew”.  The Golden Years.  RIP Cov………

“Simple Things in Life”

I have always liked green grass. I have long appreciated well-manicured lawns. In junior high I sometimes missed the bus to school. I had to walk two miles to get to school on those unfortunate days. You ever have to WALK to a place that you really didn’t want to go to? Glad that’s over. However, on those lonely walks, I took comfort in knowing that I’d get to walk past one of the best looking lawns in town. In the community where I lived most of us had rather small front yards with a tiny patch of grass. (My grandmother managed to grow a pretty good garden in there. RIP Ms. Mommie) Some had back yards that were maybe 12′ x 12′. I quietly envied kids who grew up with their own yards to play in……

In 1997 my wife and I had the pleasure of buying our first home. It was a townhouse. Quaint, cozy and comfortable but it too had a smallish yard, maybe a quarter of an acre. Loved that house and grateful for the opportunity of homeownership.

Fast forward to 2010. On a spring afternoon on my way home from work I noticed my wife taking her afternoon jog. She hurriedly stops me and tells me that a coveted home nearby is for sale. That summer we became the lucky owners of said home. Bigger home, bigger bills, bigger yard AND bigger responsibilities. For the first two years I dreaded cutting the grass, cleaning the leaves and shoveling the snow. Then, one spring day in 2012, fate somehow lead me back to that house of my childhood with the nice yard. But now, the yard wasn’t as well maintained. In fact, the house was empty, seemingly abandoned, windows boarded and the yard overrun with tall brush. Even though some twenty five years or so had passed I felt disappointed that that house ended up in that condition. It was like seeing a childhood friend who had faced tough times.

Upon returning to my house, I stood and looked at this view in the picture. I kept my yard neat and my grass green, but I had a new sense of appreciation for the effort it took. I was reminded of how much I wanted a lawn of my own and now I had one. Having something that you want usually takes more than WANTING it. It takes time, effort, money and WORK! So now, each time I return to my house, I sit in my car and take a second to look at the green grass. I thank God for the opportunity that he has afforded my family. I reminisce about my childhood and feel appreciation for the friends and family that helped me along the way. I appreciate my green grass. I really do. Brings a smile to my heart everyday. And not even the five bee stings I got on Sunday while cleaning the back yard will change that……

Green grass. A simple thing that I appreciate. You know, a new riding lawnmower and a new snow blower would make me appreciate it even more…….

“Ode to the Working Players”

Earlier this year, I was fortunate to land my first full time permanent bass gig at a local church. Two months later Covid 19 forced churches in the DMV to temporarily suspend services. I miss the fellowship with the other players and the insightful lessons from Pastor Paul. The money was a pleasant blessing as well, to keep it real! To all working players affected by the Corona Virus keep each other in thought and support. I pray that soon you all get to share your gifts and talents the way God intended. Thanks for the inspiration! https://www.instagram.com/p/CC1s0ThH0oW/?igshid=wj08j409y55n

“Lesson Learned From John Lewis”

Hello all. It’s Sunday, July 19, 2020. Hope you are enjoying the weekend. I got some things done, had a minute to practice some bass (much needed therapy!) and Lewis Hamilton won the F1 Grand Prix of Hungary. Lewis is a bad boy. Even if you have no interest whatsoever in racing, you should read up on him. Trust me, his story is fascinating. Now that it’s Sunday I have to get my mental game right for the work week. I still have time to practice and hopefully finish my song. Sunday dinner with the family, which means I “share” in the cooking duties. Ready to retire from that for sure. Did my time.

As I’m sure you’ve heard that this weekend marked the passing of John Lewis. John Lewis needs absolutely no introduction, justification nor affirmation from one Randy Savage. However, I’d like to share a story of when a college professor “schooled me” on John Lewis and SNCC.

When I was 18 years old (a long, long time ago in a galaxy far away…..) I applied for a job with the State of Maryland. I recall it being with the Department of Natural Resources working in a lab testing water samples. THE JOB DID NOT REQUIRE A COLLEGE DEGREE OF ANY LEVEL. Just keep that in mind. I met every qualification for science, labs and math. It did not list any requisite experience which was good because I didn’t have any! I arrived at the office and was introduced to the interviewer. Upon seeing me the interviewer literally gasped. She stared for maybe 3-4 seconds before extending her hand to “welcome” me. She looked over my resume, which was essentially my high school transcript, and began to ask questions to verbally verify what was already on the page. “So you took this class or that class, huh? Yes I did Miss. I answered politely, sensing that she was somewhat surprised. This went on for about 15 minutes. After looking over my “resume” one last time she says, “You have good qualifications but I was looking for a college student for this position.” I mentioned that the ad did not list college as a requirement. She fumbled through an excuse and I excused myself from her presence. The very next day that job was relisted with “College-Level Courses” listed as a requirement. Although I was disappointed and felt that I had just experienced my first taste of employment discrimination, I was young with higher aspirations. College was somewhere in my future and, more importantly, I was preparing to take over the bass spot in Parliament/Funkadelic from Bootsy Collins (a few years later I discovered that local bass hero Rodney “Skeet” Curtis had beaten me to it! Oh well…). So I tucked that incident away in my brain and vowed to use it as motivation.

Shortly after this happened I was fortunate enough to become an employee of Anne Arundel Community college. Early in my time there I was befriended and mentored by the “older” (I was 18, they were in there 30s) black employees and professors. One was a Professor of African American Studies though his name escapes me. One day during Black History Month we were discussing racism, bigotry and prejudice in America. He asked me if I had experienced any of these. I shared the story above and told him how “terrible” it was. How I felt slighted and and that I deserved better because I was a good person and represented America, and specifically Black America, in a positive way. “I grew up under privileged and sacrificed a lot to get where I was.” That’s what I told him. Man. He. Laughed. His. Ass. Off! He looked me straight in they eye and said, “Young brother, you think you have it all together, huh?” “You think you’re pretty smart?” “You been discriminated against right?” Then he laughed some more. I never responded. Then he asked me what I knew about Black History. I rattled off the obligatory and oft recited names and facts. He gave me a condescending nod of approval and then asked what I knew about the 60s Civil Rights Movement. As it turned out very little. Then, he asked what I knew about SNCC and the Freedom Rides. What? What was that? I was aware of some of the incidents, but was very vague with details. And then he asked, “YOU DON’T KNOW WHO JOHN LEWIS IS?” I never mentioned his name because I did not know who he was.

I ended up taking that Professor’s African American Studies class. He me gave materials to read, events to study and personal lessons to learn. Notably, he made me read about every act of brutality John Lewis endured in his pursuit of justice. Every act of selfless courage he displayed while serving quietly “behind the scenes” as he transitioned into politics. Every sacrifice he made as he willingly stood on the “front lines” so I wouldn’t have to. Lesson well learned Mr. Lewis. Thank you sir.