“Revenge Of The Clothes Dryer”

Last year our washing machine stopped working. It was about fifteen years old. Our dryer, about the same age, had it’s drive belt replaced but still worked. When my wife replaced the washing machine she decided to upgrade the dryer as well.

I was not happy about it. I like to keep things until they no longer work and so I was content with the old dryer even if it meant “mismatched appliances”. I let my wife AND the new dryer know how I felt about it too…….

The new dryer, for all intents and purposes, works great. But, I think it knows that I did not choose to buy it. How do I know this? You see, every now and then it will change its’ settings unbeknownst to me and my clothes won’t dry completely, causing me to have to dry them again. And sometimes it will not signal me when the cycle is done and I forget to get my clothes. Then my family yells at me for leaving my clothes when they go to use the dryer.

These things pale in comparison to what it did to me lately. It shrank my favorite sweater. Then it shrank my favorite pair of jeans. A few weeks back I put on my favorite sweater and it was much tighter than I remembered. Daggone dryer shrank it! Then last week I put on my most comfortable pair of jeans and, shockingly, could not button them! MAN THAT DRYER! So, I went and bought a sweater and jeans the same size as the ones that shrank. To my astonishment they did not fit either. Too small…. How could the dryer do this? My new clothes had never been in there. I sat down and gathered my thoughts. I began to wonder. Could it be? Am I really starting to “spread in the mid section”. The thought truly never crossed my mind. I have worn the same size clothes for thirty years. Now I realized why at my last doctor’s visit he and the nurse smirked and giggled when I asked, in all seriousness, if they could tell me why my medication was making my stomach feel “tight”.

I apologized to the dryer and now I accept my wife’s decision to upgrade and have a matched pair. I just wish it could stretch your clothes instead of shrinking them.

“Night Of The Snow”

Rain.

I hear the rain.

Rain falling on the window pain.

Freezing rain. Again. After the snow.

Yes it snowed again.

So soon and yet so plain.

Snowblowers and shovels and shoulders.

And pain. And cold. Freezing cold.

So young into the new year.

Yet so old. And bold. But behold.

Candles and warmth and feelings and yearning.

And touching and senses and desires, burning.

Yesterday smiles and sweet copulation.

The need of flesh solely for fornication.

Leisurely hours of lazily breathing.

Sensuous sounds of the eve deceiving.

With the mind, body and spirit all believing

The snow, the night, the flesh, again leaving.

Sure to return as sure as it goes.

So goes the night, “The Night Of The Snow”.

“First Sunday”

January 2, 2021. The first Sunday of 2022. 8:30 pm. Got behind my time this weekend so I didn’t get to do much of what I WANTED. No guitar practice today. No bass practice today. No riding today.

However, I did get to do much of what I NEEDED. Fixed a faulty light switch. Cleaned a car. Bought some “Thank You” gifts for deserving friends. Handled some personal business. But….

You know, people change over time. We the same fundamentally, but our wants, needs, priorities, fulfillment amd desires evolve over time. For me that means I HAVE to some private time on Sunday afternoon/evening to do EXACTLY what I want to do.

The year is early yet. Fifty one Sundays to go……

“Not On The List”

You ever tell somebody something and they don’t listen to you? Ever have someone tell you something that YOU don’t listen to?

I’m not much of a “do it yourself’er”. However I do like having proper tools for the job when the need arises. Even though I own plenty wrenches, hammers, sockets and rachets, I’ve never owned a tool box, not a real one anyway. Unless you count makeshift cardboard boxes, assorted drawers and cabinets or random shelves as tool “boxes”.

So, after YEARS of my family insisting that I locate and centralize my tools, after repeatedly being scolded and laughed for spending hours searching the entire house for one wrench or screwdriver, they bought me a new tool set for Christmas even though I never had it on my “list”. I didn’t listen when they told me to gather my tools and keep them in one place…..

So I have to apologize and thank my family. This multi-piece kit will have me covered. And there is an added benefit. Now, not only will these tools come in handy when working on my motorcycle, when they buy my Koenigsegg Jesko I’ll have everything I need to work on it……..

Guess I’ll ask for a toolbox for my “old” tools. “359 Days Of Christmas……”

“Time Flies…….”

When you need more time….

When you need more……

When you need……..

When you…..

Time flies when you hear that voice…..

When you feel that touch….

When you feel so much…..

Time flies when you taste that kiss…..

When you’re far apart…..

When you feel that heart….

Time flies when you need tonight…

When your dream is a sound….

And it’s always around………