Good Saturday morning. July 18, 2020. Can you believe that we are more than half way through 2020? It has been an interesting year to say the least…..still working through the affects of COVID 19. I woke up around 6 this morning. As I organized my thoughts I came to the realization that I have a relatively empty schedule for a Saturday. Most of my chores are done. So, I have a free day all to myself. This day is a “blank canvas”, if you will, and so I can “color” it just the way I like.

I like nice lawns. I do my best with mine. It’s been dry lately so I turned on the sprinkler to water the grass. I like clean cars but washing them isn’t high on my list of priorities. Lucky for me that as soon as I decide to wash my car I find that my wife has already “happily” done it. I’ll think about doing it and she’ll say, “It was filthy so I washed it while you were buried in the music room”. Uncanny how she knows exactly when I’m about to do it every time…….I’m gonna take advantage of this day. Meteorologist says 98 degrees with 106 heat index. Outdoor activities before 12 or after 6. That’ll leave plenty of time for the following:

Breakfast of choice. Write new post. Write a new song. Finish class assignments. Family discussion. Study motorcycles for future (hopefully, fingers crossed) purchase. Watch Formula One qualifying.

I like all forms of racing, but particularly Formula One, MotoGP, IndyCar and Supercross. Racing season picks up right where football season ends (January/February). Of course, this year the season got pushed back a few months so I had to fill that time with other interests. Glad it’s finally here! Go get’ em Lewis Hamilton!

Yep. Today’s gonna be a good day. Remember, these weekends do not last long. So make the most of your time this Saturday. Take time for yourself. Do EXACTLY what you’d like to do. Who knows, if you plan accordingly, you may not even have to wash your car…….

I’m gonna say this right from the beginning.  Depression is an uncomfortable subject for most people.  If  not forced to speak about it we’d all probably avoid any conversation concerning it and any other mental health issues.  Why am I writing about it today?  Well, in the last two weeks I’ve had friends mention depression on social media sites.  I’ve had family members reveal that they themselves have battled depression in the past.  Recent news stories have included some well known celebrities dealing with personal issues.  In many of these instances it appears that those dealing with depression were reluctant to discuss it with anyone, including those closest to them.  Over the course of my life I’ve been fortunate enough to have people trust in my words.  From an early age I’ve found myself in the position of being the “voice of reason”.  Countless conversations, too many situations to recall, but I’m thankful for them.  Talking family and friends through tough times aided me in dealing with my personal challenges.

Which leads us to these questions: Who do you talk to when you are emotionally challenged?  Whom do you trust when you need emotional support? Do you recognize when you are not feeling “yourself”?  Are you reluctant to accept the fact that maybe sometimes you need a little emotional support?  I understand.  I am no doctor nor do I play one on TV, but I’ve had people confide in me when they were mentally drained and needed an ear.  Let me share a couple of stories with you. 

When I was in the eighth grade I had a close friend struggling with behavior in school.  She argued and fought constantly, frequently at odds with teachers and administrators.  Almost every day.  It did not help that she was bullied for being in remedial classes.  She didn’t talk to many, but she and I would talk between classes and after school while walking to the bus.  After one particularly tough day for her I decided to console her, but did not know what to say.  So finally, I just asked, “What the hell is wrong with you girl.”  She cried and just said she did not know.  After some time she got comfortable and started to talk.  What she described could be considered depression, but obviously neither one of us eighth graders knew what that was or what to do about it.  She was having trouble sleeping.  She was always tired and fatigued.  She could not concentrate.  She was unhappy and had no motivation.  She was uncomfortable around people.  And had no one to talk to.  We remained friends and kept in contact until I transferred to a different high school.  I saw her some years later and she revealed the source of her frustration back in Junior High School.  She was in a much better emotional space and thanked me for just “listening”. 

In 2007 I went to San Antonio, Texas for some company training.  There were four instructors hosting the classes.  On my second day there, one particular instructor and I struck up a conversation about motorcycles.  I’m an enthusiast and he had a pretty impressive collection.  He and I started hanging out during lunch talking about bikes and shared interests.  He told me he was ready to buy a new bike and invited me to go to the motorcycle shop with him.  So one day after class we headed down to the local shop.  As we were driving the instructor started talking about his personal life.  He had three daughters and was divorced.  He had a new fiance that he himself described as his “next trophy wife”.  He was doing “alright” financially, coming from a successful family and having great career, and every “toy” a man would want.  But, somehow, some way, as he spoke, I looked at him and could “see” unhappiness behind his smile.  The more he talked I realized that he still loved his wife.  He never said it directly, but everything he said implied that he could not believe that she would leave him.  He had EVERYTHING that they would ever need.  At one point I almost said to him, “Just tell her that you still love her.”  I could not bring myself to say it being that I had not known him that long.  I noticed that being in class was the happiest time for him.  Outside of the classroom he wasn’t the same.  The training lasted two weeks.  On the last day the trainer and I exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch.  He told me to take care of my family and wished me luck with the company.  I did likewise.  Three months after returning home our branch received the news that this trainer, considered one of the best in his field, committed suicide.  Every now and then I wonder if any words unsaid could have helped him.  I wonder if he had anyone to talk to.

Never underestimate the power of listening.  And sometimes, when you’re listening, you must pay attention to what is NOT said.  And, for those who need someone to talk to, please find a trusted friend, family member or professional confidant to express how you feel.  It is ok.  You’re not alone in being in this place.  Your path to better days ahead is easier when you have someone to travel with.

Sunday. June 28th 2020. Weekends man, they sure don’t last long. Sunday afternoons are my time to enjoy “leisure time”. After “assisting” with Sunday dinner I like to kick back, maybe watch some football, Formula 1 Racing (get that title Lewis!) and practice bass before I begrudgingly prepare for the week. It’s also a time for wishful thinking and reflection. It’s Summer. Summer is for outdoors. Summer is for open air. Summer for me also means motorcycles. Aaaaah motorcycles. Love these things. Among the most beautiful creations of mankind. Just something about that rear tire connected via chain to that engine producing all that power. Yes sir baby! So, in the wishful thinking category I present you my once and future dilemma: Who’d you rather? Honda CBR650F or Suzuki GSX S750? I say both.

Thank you President Obama. Thank you for your courage, your commitment and your compassion as a leader. Thank you for your humanity, your humility and your humbleness as a man. Thank you for your understanding, your knowledge and your wisdom as a black man. And, thank you for your power, your purpose and your patriotism as a President.

President Obama, my family may never get the opportunity to meet your beautiful family, and you may never get to read this post, but nonetheless I write because it needs to be told. I know that I am not the first to express these thoughts and words. Hopefully I am not the last. From almost as far as I can remember, I’ve been of the belief that there is far more “good” than “bad” in the world we are so fortunate to live in. I believed it yesterday, I believe it today and will believe it with each tomorrow. Others may view the world differently, especially in these times, but I’ve always leaned toward optimism. My feeling is that if those whom are capable of “doing good” would DO so as often as possible, the good deeds would surpass or at least balance the the scale against those who are more apt to do “bad”. And thus, I offer my apologies.

President Obama, my apology for not doing more to support you during your tenure. Oh, believe me, I ABSOLUTELY voted for you! In fact, I cast 20 ballots by myself in each election of “08 and “12. LOL! Now let somebody say sump’m……I’m in a “wishful” mood these days! (See Cedric the Entertainer in Kings of Comedy). I should have voted for you as a “write in” candidate in ’16………...Voted, yes, but voting is the “beginning” of democracy, just one small, however important, ingredient. I assure you that my family will never forget this. There is work to be “done” once the election is over. Not only by the candidates, but more so by the “people”. As we are currently mired in the administration of “true lies” and “alternative facts”, I have been forced to accept the fact that I did not “do” enough in support of your presidency. President Obama, the feeling of pride, euphoria, excitement, astonishment, reality, and yes, disbelief and surprise made me numb to the fact that I, as Black American, had a responsibility beyond witnessing the inauguration of the “first Black President”. WE, AS A PEOPLE, HAD WORK TO DO! Twelve years since and I still see the faces of the older generations witnessing something that they thought they would never live to see. Thank you again sir.

So Mr. President, I have compiled a list of things that “I” could have “done” to help my little piece of America be better. These were all inspired by you and I will honor your legacy throughout my family as you will be undoubtedly remembered for being on the right side of history.

1. Pursue a higher level of education
2. Become more active in local politics
3. Contribute more to HBCUs
4. Support a worthy charity
5. Volunteer for a non-profit that directly benefits the local community
6. Support the community where I grew up
7. Visit and support African-American monuments/museums
8. Learn/share the historical relevance of my home state
9. Greet and acknowledge each other positively
10. Celebrate/acknowledge Barack Obama’s Presidency beyond the Oval Office

There is so much more I could say, but even more I must do. Thank you Mr. President, for the inspiration. See you in ’21………..

June 27th 2020. Saturday. Do you know where your Friday night went? Hope you enjoyed it. I listened to some music, did a little writing, relaxed. Ate at home. Got up at 7 this morning. Cut my grass at 8. My neighbors were soooo “happy”. Sorry, I like to be done by 10. You know the saying, “Do what you HAVE to do first and then do what you WANT to do”. Now I have the rest of the day to do what I WANT to do, like CREATING some music. And maybe get some bass practice in. Trying to remain focused in these times. That being said, I have a question for you. How many days during the week are you able to do exactly what you want to do? No compromises. No questions. No concerns. How many? I’ve thought about this recently and wanted to share my thoughts.

I have two kids aged 21 and 19. For the past 20 years I’ve done my best to put my family first. My wife and I worked to provide as many opportunities as we could for them. Hopefully we are giving them a pretty good foundation to start from. As a father I NEVER wanted my kids to miss out due to my over indulgence. So I always put them first. Food, clothing, leisure time. I compromised a lot and denied myself plenty along the way. And I’m good with it. No regrets on that! However, as my sons have gotten to a level of independence that does not require the same level of “parental guidance”, it has been an eye-opening experience as we try adjust to some new found freedoms. It has taken awhile to realize that my schedule does not revolve around their daily activities. They drive so I don’t have to chauffeur them around. They work so I get to keep SOME of my money….! We all have different tastes so I don’t have to share every meal (my sons AND my wife still like me to cook, though). Our schedules allow me to have the house to myself a little more, but somehow I still have to share my “studio” with the fellas and EVERY other room with my wife……(?) Point is, I have days where I wake up and am fortunate enough to do whatever I want to do at that moment.

This is very new to me. My wife often reminds me that I can “do something for myself sometimes”. She encourages me to buy for myself, or take time for myself. This is good. It is quite a refreshing feeling to know that, while still a dad, I am not tethered to every move my family makes. For those of you who have already been in this place in your life, good for you. If you are still working to get to this place, you’ll get there. For now, it is Saturday and everybody is entitled to do something they want on this day. Make the most of it because as you know we are already half way through the weekend! And be ready for church tomorrow………….

That is the question. At least it is for me. As we all know, the Corona Virus altered our lives in ways we probably would not have imagined had it not happened. Shut downs, closed schools, closed businesses, quarantines, masks, etc. Not to mention the impact it had on our time. Me personally, I found that I had more time to think and reflect as I was on administrative leave for some days during March, April and May. During my time of reflection I thought about the current state of my professional life and how it may have been altered (for better or for worse…) had I made different choices over the course of time. At different stages of life I had thoughts of pursuing specific career paths, but admittedly became distracted by comfort, complacency and some early financial success. As I thought, I asked myself the question: do I have regrets? Absolutely! Some may say that having regret is looking into the past. And you are right. I like to use my past as a reference to make wiser choices in my future. Just the way I think, that’s all. You do what works for you. Hopefully you don’t have any regrets in your professional life. That is a blessing.

There are three instances where I wonder how my life would be different if I’d made a different choice. One, I wish I had followed my ultimate dream to become a fighter pilot. I love military fighter jets. My real, real dream was to be an Air Force F15 pilot. I had a good start too. Was supposed to spend a couple of summers in the Naval Academy JETS program while in Junior High School. But girls came calling……..Two, I often envisioned myself as a college professor. I’ve always enjoyed engaging in conversation and sharing information with people. I’m a decent verbal and written communicator and think I could connect with students to inspire them. But I let music (my mistress) get in the way. Three, I love science/technology and have always been intrigued by computers. I am so fascinated by the history of computers that I could read the same information over and over and not get bored. There are times when I read hour upon hour day after day learning about hardware and networking. I finally got past my fear and lack of on hand experience and decided to really study hardware, networking and cloud computing. Thanks to my son Rashon for the inspiration! No longer letting missed time get in the way!

So yeah. I have a regret or two. Or three (don’t judge………) but I am gonna use them as motivation as I move toward the next level in my professional life. U.S. Air Force F22 here I come…………By the way, anybody know the maximum age limit for fighter pilots?

Friday. June 26th 2020. Another Friday night in my life. Let’s see. If my math is correct, I’ve been blessed to live through 2500 or so Fridays. With each passing weekend and subsequent Monday morning (seen about 2500 or so Monday mornings too) I’ve come to the realization that Friday nights are invaluable slices of time that can determine how much I get accomplished during my all-too-brief Saturday and Sunday. Anybody out there know what I’m talkin’ about? It’s like the time evaporates. When you really think about it, the weekend is actually only about 60 hours, depending on how early that Monday morning alarm sounds off for you. So make the most of Friday night. Start on Thursday if your schedule (AND JOB) allow. No matter how you celebrate your Friday, kick it off early. My wife and I don’t party often, but she likes to dance. I do too, but I’m not as good as she is. So, I have been secretly practicing Hip hop Dancing. Yeah that’s right! Whatchu say? That’s what I thought……Remember, old dogs can learn new kicks! So enjoy your Friday night! Get it all in whatever it is. Get up and get to it RIGHT NOW! Don’t forget, Monday morning is already waiting for you……………….

The United States was founded on the principle of “We The People” more than 250 years ago. Today, June 25th, 2020 “We The People” are faced with voter suppression in the “greatest democracy in history”. If America is ever going to be it’s greatest, it has to be great for “all of the people”. Who is up for the challenge? I knew Donald Chump was not……

I have a question for all Donald Chump supporters. All kidding aside, could any Trump supporter please tell me how your life has benefited from his Presidency? I really would like to know. I don’t see any improvement in my daily life resulting from his policies. I genuinely would like to hear from someone who has. I’ll be waiting…………..