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“Yesterday Was A Good Day”

Yesterday was, in fact, a good day ( to paraphrase Ice Cube’s classic track). When I woke up yesterday (with a supposed day off for myself….) the prevailing thought was that I had so many life details to attend to. Was not motivated! My to-do list included paying bills, contacting attorneys, scheduling appointments, updating a myriad of passwords, completing personal documents and of course, cooking! But I really wanted to hold fast to the promise I made for this year: play my bass EVERY day. If only for half an hour I am gonna play every day for as long as I am able. It didn’t look to promising as the time just seemed so limited.

So, as I rolled out of bed, I decided to do something that I rarely do so early: check my email. I grabbed my phone and, after going through emails, I did something else that I rarely do that early: check notifications. Glad I did! Lo and behold, Nathan “the Great” East (bass player extraordinare) posted video of himself heading to his first recording session of the year. YES! I could stay woke for that.

After running through the aforementioned tasks I prepared for dinner hoping to find that all-too-allusive block of time for bass practice. As my son says grace a phone alert sounds off. Rule at my house: no phones at the dinner table. I realize it’s my phone. Reluctantly I retrieve it only because I’m anticipating returned messages. Facebook notification……..ok. Oh, ok! My friend Carl Anderson (multi-faceted working musician and fellow songwriter) is hosting a podcast with a new artist. That’s what I’m talking about. Local artists supporting each other! We need more of this.

Alright. 9pm. Missions accomplished. Everything done. After what seemed like five minutes I look at the clock and it’s 10pm! ALREADY? S$%T! So one more thing…. I take a box downstairs for my wife and finally get to “walk past” my guitar. How convenient……I pick it up and play unplugged for a few minutes. Discouraged because I didn’t have a larger block of time (4-6 hours is ideal for me) I head to bed after an hour or so. About 11:30pm I lie on the bed with phone in hand to check any recent emails. Another alert. Guess what? I have the priviledge of watching “Modern Master” Bassist Justin “Inspiration” Raines’ IG live post of him tracking in his home studio! Great time to be a musician.

Let me share a story: along with Tony Russell, Darell Freeman, Terrance Palmer and Maurice Fitzgerald, Justin Raines was one of the young players who originally inspired me to start playing bass again after I quit playing in the early 2000’s. Every chance I get to hear and see him play is a blessing and an inspiration. Fast forward to 2020. I had not even owned a bass for about ten years, let alone play one. Social media allows access to these great musicians and gives us “ordinary guys” a glimpse into their world. Sometimes life insulates us from the small blessings we are afforded. Sometimes we forget to acknowledge them.

Thank you Nathan East. Thank you Carl Anderson. Thank you Justin Raines.

For the information and inspiration, I am truly grateful.

Yes, yesterday was a good day.

What Makes You “YOU”

Who am I? What do I like? What do I like to do? Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions? If you are one of the fortunate people that has the answers to these questions and you know exactly where your life should be, good for you. You may be a part of relatively small group among us. Increasingly, I meet folks from my generation who are tasked with finding these answers to help define their lives. This got me to thinking: how would I answer these questions? Here’s what I came up with.

First, I thought about those things that were most important. Next, I considered what gave me the most fulfilling satisfaction. Then I determined how I would start the process of taking action to find the answers. When I got right down to it I realized that I have a few basic wants and needs. One, I love supporting my family. That’s my main priority yes, but I really love to see my family reaching their goals and defining their respective callings. As for myself, I like many things and have many interests. Ultimately though, I am a person with great ambitions and simple needs: love, education, music and motorcycles. Really that’s it. I love learning. I love the soft, sensuality of women. Music is my lifeblood. Motorcycles, fighter jets and more recently hypercars appeal to my alter ego. (140 mph on a CBR600 F3 was a beautiful thing!) There are plenty of other things I enjoy, but those are things I like the most.

Pretty simple. Having these as a part of my life makes me feel complete, makes me whole. Having music and motorcycles makes me “ME”. As we begin the journey into the next decade ask yourself what you need in you life that makes you feel complete. What makes you “YOU”. Have a great 2021!

My first………..

“Components of a Relationship”

Fear of the “S” Word

Aahh. The dreaded “S” word. Why is it so difficult for people to discuss? Why is it so taboo? And for some folks in relationships the mere mention of the word borders on near blasphemy. You think I’m talking about sex don’t you? Not just yet, but be ready………… No, the “S” word for today is………..spirituality!

Spirituality is one of the five components of a relationship. In my previous post I listed all five (spiritual, sexual, financial, physical and emotional) components which I discussed with six fellow female college students some years ago. I chose to discuss spirituality first because it is the least mentioned part of most relationships. Whether we realize it or not, when two people meet, someone is “ministering” to the other or they are “ministering” to each other. They are sharing their respective “spiritual” feelings, thoughts and emotions through words and body language. Some of us naturally give off good “vibes“. Some don’t. However, good vibes only have true meaning if they are supported by good “deeds“. Which brings me to this point:

Positive feelings reinforced by positive actions between two people brings them closer to a spiritual, God-focused relationship. This is true even if the couple doesn’t attend church or value religion as a part of their lifestyle. Treating each other with respect and dignity, showing compassion and care, being honest and open, helping each other to become better people. Why would anyone settle for less in a relationship? Do not let the religious references mask the importance of simple “goodness” shared between two people. According to the “professors” our relationships will be better for it!

Up next? The other “S” word. This is gonna be good……………………….

Ingredients for Good Relationships

Relationships. How do you define them? What does a good relationship look like? Why do we tolerate bad relationships? I don’t have the answers to any of these questions. However, I do have several years of real life experience. And this experience forms the basis of the OPINIONS that I share on this blog.

Years ago when I was taking classes at the local college, I went to the cafeteria to grab lunch. As I passed through, a group of six women were sitting at a nearby table. I heard faint whispers and comments followed by intentional laughter when I went by. This happened again as I passed the ladies upon leaving the cafeteria. I paused, thought for a second, and decided to approach the table. As I did I saw the awkward stares and uncomfortable smiles greeting me. I said he hello, introduced myself, then asked why they were “making fun” of me. They got a good laugh out of that. When they settled down, one of the women shared that they were talking about men and our inability to sustain relationships. Upon hearing this I invited myself to a seat and joined the conversation. Here is what I was taught and feel fortunate to have learned.

According to the six “professors” relationships have five components. That’s it. Five. They are very simple and we men must learn them if we want to have successful, progressive, meaningful and LASTING relationships. Here they are: spiritual, sexual, financial, physical and emotional. I will discuss each component in my next post. Stay tuned………

“The Value of Friendship”

True friendship. How do you measure it? How do you recognize it? I may not have the definitive answer, but my friends have taught me the very value of the word. How? By allowing me to be my best and demanding that I be my best. My friends have never ever asked me to compromise my values. All of my best qualities are better because of my friendships. I hope that I have been as good a friend to them as they have been to me.

Real Life